


All Or Nothing

by islandahgase



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, M/M, Present Jinson, Songfic, This is why I shouldn't get inspired at 2am, past markjin, sorry in advance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 13:03:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12366393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islandahgase/pseuds/islandahgase
Summary: Mark left Jinyoung broken and Jackson is there to fix Jinyoung , but is he successful ?





	All Or Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to All Or Nothing by O-Town while reading . It adds to the effect .

Jackson looks at Jinyoung from across the table, silently dying inside. The pained expression on Jinyoung's face is one Jackson is all too familiar with. It was the same distant look Jinyoung gets when memories of Mark washes over him. Any minute now, Jinyoung will excuse himself to go to the bathroom and collect himself.

 

He watches Jinyoung closely... One... Two... _screech_ "Jackson-ah, excuse me, I need to use the bathroom," Jinyoung mumbles, blinking a few tears away as he scurries in the direction of the bathroom.

 

Leaning back in his chair, Jackson sighs heavily. It's been a year and a half since Mark's fatal accident, and frankly, Mark been the one to up and leave Jinyoung without an explanation, or even the courtesy of a goodbye to begin with! He thought that with time Jinyoung would realize that it was over. It had taken Jinyoung a year to notice that Jackson had always carried a torch for him. After being the one to hold Jinyoung close as he cried and spoon feed him when he didn't want to eat, Jinyoung had finally seen Jackson as more than just a friend, only for Jinyoung to never really recover from Mark emotionally. Now, here they were on a date, two year after Mark had left Jinyoung, and Jackson can still see clearly how Jinyoung was hurting. His heart aches with every beat for Jinyoung.

 

As selfish as it sounds, Jackson wants it all or nothing at all. He thought that with time Jinyoung would realize that Mark is gone forever and that it's over. There are times Jackson feels like he's sharing Jinyoung with the memory of Mark. He feels it in his heart, but he hides it from the other, but then Jinyoung would turn and look at him as though Jackson is all he sees, and Jackson falls in love again. Then times like now, where Jinyoung plunges into depression at the mention of Mark, is when Jackson feels the most incompetent. His heart bleeds, and his eyes sting.

 

It's not how he chooses to live, but his heart has always belonged to Jinyoung. He got the rest of Jinyoung after Mark passed, but now he wants the best of Jinyoung. He would fight for Jinyoung, but how can he fight someone that isn't even here anymore? How do you fight with the memory of someone? Is this the epitome of Jinyoung's love for anyone other than Mark?

 

The vibration of his phone against the wooden table makes his throat go dry and heart to skip erratically before it clenches almost unbearably. The name "박개," stares back at him. This is it. Now or never. All of nothing. It's time to show and tell. He holds his breath, and answers the call.

 

The sob he hears from the other end, tugs at his heart, and pulls a similar sound from his end. "I'm sorry, Jackson. I'm so sorry. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep hurting you. I owe you enough to tell you the truth. I can't keep seeing you. I'm still in love with Mark."

 

With his phone still held to his ear, Jackson buried his face in the crook of his elbow resting on the table, and sobs. "I know." The tears in his eyes fall freely on to the table top. He bites his lip to hold back the sobs, as his heart shatters into a million pieces.

 

"I'm so sorry, Jackson. I need to get myself back together, and I don't want to hold you back from finding someone who can love you like you deserve to be loved. If and when I do pull myself back together, I promise I'll come back. I'll find you. I do love you, but I can't forget Mark. I can't let him go."

 

_Baby, don't make me promises. You never were good at keeping them. Is this how it ends? A simple phone call? Is that all or are we even friends still? Is this what it feels like to hit the bottom? 'Cause I don't want to feel like this. I don't want it._

 

Instead, he says the only thing he's capable of uttering: "Take your time, Jinyoung. I'll always be here if you ever want to come back to me. I'll always love you," before he hangs up.

**Author's Note:**

> 울지마라요 !! 울지마 !! 
> 
> Don't cry too much . My heart was threatening to shatter the whole time . I almost didn't finish this . Originally I was gonna make it longer and have a car hit Jackson while crossing the street to catch up to Jinyoung and for Jinyoung to realize he loves Jackson while Jackson lies dying in the streets but I decided I'm not that mean . I cut the angst cuz my heart couldn't take it .


End file.
